Tag: peace

thoughts

the God of order

alyssapebbles

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace…

1 Corinthians 14:33

As humans, we try to make meaning out of seemingly random events to make sense of our lives; we want to recognize patterns in order to have some way to interpret our outer circumstances and inner world. When things don’t make sense or feel random or haphazard, we can feel helpless, unsafe, and confused.

I know my own longing for certainty, predictability, and stability is still stronger than I’d like to admit, and yet at the same time I also crave adventure and excitement. How do we reconcile these things? How do we understand a God who is stable, consistent, and never-changing, and yet at the same time disrupts our stability constantly to get us out of ourselves and remind us that He is in control? What part do I have in creating a “stable” life for myself, and how much do I entrust myself to His promptings and leadings that may lead me into places I don’t want to go and not make any worldly sense?

My mind is a chaotic place. This world is a chaotic place. Where do we find our peace and stability, when it doesn’t seem to be available in our outward circumstances or internal reality?

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Repeatedly in the Bible God reminds us that He alone is our peace. That everything we pursue must be oriented around Him, or there will be no peace for us. I am finding this to be truer and truer in my life, as I find that everything I do apart from Him is fruitless and leaves me empty and unfulfilled. The more I get to know Him, the more my life becomes hidden in Him, and every part of my life can only make sense in the light of His love. Truly I cannot understand myself apart from Him:

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

John 15: 1-4

If we want understanding, order, and peace in our lives, we must remain in Him. We must abide in Him, as His Holy Spirit dwells in us. Any other way we try to perceive the world or our lives will no longer make any sense- and this is completely for our benefit. For we were once like the rest of the world and were able to find peace and contentment in the world, but now we are set apart. Now there is no meaning unless God gives it meaning; there is no peace unless it’s His peace.

What does this look like practically? It looks like every day practicing the presence of God. It looks like spending time with Him, and remembering who He is and His great love for us. Grounding ourselves in truth of who we are because of what He has done for us, and moving forward in strength and confidence in His promises, even when we don’t feel like it. Even when all the evidence around us seems overwhelmingly defeating and we would be tempted to give up and give into the chaos, accepting it as simply the way things are and will always be.

I want to remain so rooted in Him that absolutely nothing can shake me. I want to be so Kingdom-focused and heavenly minded that He is all I see in every circumstance of my life; that nothing can discourage me or cause me to despair, but rather reenforce the gloriousness of who He is. If we can learn to set our eyes on the things above, we will bear fruit and things will fall into place without our effort to make them happen:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

We can trust that He will order our lives as He sees fit, if we prioritize Him in all things. We need to stop fooling ourselves that there is any peace apart from Him, and completely surrender our plans to Him, knowing that He works all things together for our good.

thoughts

peace (on earth)

alyssapebbles

Another year has gone by, full of hopes and disappointments, successes and failures.

Sometimes the failures seem to outweigh the successes. It can be easy to become discouraged around this time of year, when the idea “Christmas cheer” feels more ironic than true. It can intensify and magnify our hurts and pains; remind us that we are not where we would like to be.

You’re not alone if you feel alone. If you feel discouraged, downtrodden, or weary. If you wonder when God is going to come through on His promises to you. If you have no idea what this next year is going to bring, and you feel tired of not knowing.

You’re not alone.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

~Matthew 11:28-30

My favorite verse. The one He never stops beckoning me to, inviting me to be still, and to know that He is God. To know it with all my heart, soul, and mind. That He is the one in control, and all I have to do is trust Him. All I have to do is lift my weary countenance to His endlessly loving Presence, and remember who He is and what He has done for me.

Remember that I did not save myself. That I never can save myself.

When we truly enter His rest, there is no more striving. There is no more fear, doubt, or shame. There is nothing but me and Him- and His perfect peace.

When you really see Jesus, I defy you to doubt Him. If you see Him when He says, “Let not your heart be troubled…” (John 14:27), I defy you to worry. It is virtually impossible to doubt when He is there. Every time you are in personal contact with Jesus, His words are real to you. “My peace I give to you…” (John 14:27)- a peace which brings an unconstrained confidence and covers you completely, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. “…your life is hidden with Christ in God,” and the peace of Jesus Christ that cannot be disturbed has been imparted to you.

~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest 

Let’s allow our hearts to fully enter that rest; to be fully embraced by a perfect and loving God who has the very best intentions for us. One who cannot fail us or let us down. One who will always remain the same, unchanging in His unconditional love for us. Why wouldn’t we trust such a One? Why wouldn’t surrender our lives to Him?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

~John 3:16-17

He is worthy. I am not, but I rest in the One who is. And that is my hope in this season- in every season. I only pray I can grow more and more in the knowledge of His love and goodness; that He would so fill me with Himself that I can be free from fear and doubt for the rest of my time in this world, and walk in His perfect peace.

I think Peter Pan understood this when he said:

All you need is a little faith, trust, and pixie dust!

thoughts

living faith

alyssapebbles

As God brings me into yet another new season of my life with Him (or rather a continuation of what He began in me 5 months ago), I am humbled.

I am in awe of how real and true He really is.

I am in awe of how when we actually trust Him and obey what He is calling us to do, He changes something inside of us, and gives us a strength we never knew we had access to.

A simple and yet impossibly difficult choice to give Him something I so deeply loved and desired has led me to a new place of freedom and hope in Him. He has given me a peace that surpasses understanding and a renewed assurance of His good plan for my life. He has drawn close in sweet intimacy as I have let go of my own will and decided to choose His.

I am free.

I feel a greater purpose, a greater urgency to know Him and to have others know Him. I feel His Spirit pulsating through me and leading me into deeper waters; taking me to places that I haven’t known and are unfamiliar to me- places I wouldn’t have dared to go before now. But He has done something in me to make me more willing, created an even deeper longing and hunger for truth and righteousness in me. Maybe He does this when we finally let go of ourselves. And maybe this is exactly what we’ve always wanted, and we just weren’t able to see it until we decided to trust Him.

I can’t explain His ways, or why He moves the way He does, but I know that the longings He has put in my heart are meant to be fulfilled in Him alone. I know that He is my ultimate satisfaction, my heart’s deepest desire and strongest need. I know that He is bringing me into deeper dependence on Him every hour of every day, and that I cannot spend any time apart from Him anymore. The stakes are too high; living for myself is no longer enough.

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

~Matthew 6:13-14

I want to go through the narrow gate- to walk the only path that leads to life. This past year has been a pruning process, but the growth has been unmistakable. I can only move forward with Him, as He will continue to prune me until everything in my life is conformed to His will- every thought, feeling, desire, and action. He is patient with us, and will allow us to go our own way at times to show us that is not the way we really want to go. I now see that His way is the only way.

In my pursuit of holiness, I will not forget His grace and kindness. I will not forget how much He loves me, because without love nothing else matters. He is Love Himself- a consuming fire that will never leave us where we are in His reckless pursuit of our souls. His love is what enables me to walk on the path; I cannot do it on my own. His love is what keeps me.

I am so grateful to learn these things now; to learn what it really means to let Him into every part of my life. He is saving me from so much unnecessary pain down the road, and developing me into a person He can actually use here and now, in the relationships that I have and the communities that I am a part of. He is doing all of this work in me so His light can shine through me and give others Hope. This work that can only be done when we lay down our lives before Him and let Him have His way, no matter what it costs us- and eventually it will cost us everything. We cannot have Him while we are still holding onto ourselves.

For now, I am content to continue giving Him the little things every day; the little rebellious parts of my heart that are still clinging to the world and to myself. I know that every little sacrifice to Him makes Him glad, and every time I posture my heart back to Him I am more free.

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.

~Psalm 59:16

thoughts

delight

alyssapebbles

Delight in the Lord

And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

~Psalm 37:4

We become so bogged down by our “burdens” at times, we forget that the Father actually intends for us to have peace, joy, and life. There are indeed times for suffering and waiting patiently on Him, but there are also times when that suffering is self-inflicted and unnecessary. We keep ourselves from Him in the name of religion and asceticism, thinking that we are somehow honoring Him in our grumbling.

I love how He reminds us to delight in Him- how it’s actually a delight to be with Him and spend time with Him; to get to know Him as a friend and companion on this crazy journey of life. We find joy in the relationship with Him- it’s as simple as that. He is a relief from the chaos and madness of our lives. It’s like being with your best friend, who loves you despite all your ridiculousness and faults. He’s warm and caring, friendly and personable. He has a sense of humor, and He allows us to see ourselves clearly in a gentle and loving way, without any fear, shame, or embarrassment- just as a good friend does. He’s a fresh breath of air in a suffocating world. And He wants us to rejoice– He wants us to be so filled with joy we are overflowing; to laugh, to sing, to dance, and to play in this world that He has created for us! Creativity flows from a joyful heart, so He must have been joyful when He created the world, therefore we must be joyful. And joy only comes when we relax and let down our guards; the walls and defense mechanisms that keep us tightly wound.

Why do we act as though He is cold and distant, instead of near and close? We go about our lives as though He’s disinterested or disapproving, as though we constantly have to prove ourselves to Him and those around us. Of course we are drained and exhausted; of course our joy is gone- living in constant striving kills the soul. Yet that feels so much more natural to us than resting in His love and friendship. We can’t believe He could even possibly like us the way we are, let alone enjoy us. We tell ourselves we can have joy once we’ve earned it- we can have the good life when we deserve it. We don’t accept the gift of His Spirit right here and now, because we don’t feel we are ready to walk with Him; we are not qualified yet. We must prove ourselves righteous before we are “holy” enough to live the life He wants for us.

But this is the reverse of how it works with God. It actually starts with Him.

If we live our lives in constant anticipation of the day when we are finally good enough, we never will be. We have to recognize that day is here, the time is now. There is no prerequisite to being with Him; we can go to Him at any time, in any place, and He welcomes us with open arms. That is always the first step to growth and change. We have to stop trying to circumnavigate this key piece of our transformation- without Him we are hopeless. But once we do turn back to Him, in an instant everything changes and He gives us everything we need to move forward.

He’s as close to us as our very breath, as palpable as the warm embrace of someone you love. He’s real, He’s here, all around us and in us. He’s not far. And His heart for us is good.

It’s so easy to lose sight of who He is, and once we forget, we can no longer experience peace. We can’t be fully free and joyful until we know and are convinced of His realness, His goodness, His absolutely unconditional love for us.

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When all seems lost, I’m found in Him. When I’m broken and afraid, He lifts me up and replaces my crippling fear with His perfect love. He doesn’t require anything of me other than my entire being, surrendered to Him, which is the easiest thing in the world when I love Him the most. But it’s the hardest thing when other things of the world have my attention and hope. He keeps on pursuing me, regardless of if I pursue Him or not. He keeps reaching into my heart, digging around and excavating until He finds something responsive to His touch, something true and pure. And He grows that in me until it so fills me until there is no more room for the old impurities. They have no place in my heart anymore, once He has so filled me.

He’s not shy and He’s not restrained. He’ll do anything to get to me- He’s a jealous God who won’t stand for anything or anyone other than Him vying for my attention and heart.

When we find this place of joy in Him, nothing can stop us- His purposes cannot be constrained. We are no longer self-conscious or limited by our own assessment of ourselves and our capabilities. He surpasses our expectations and those things we never thought we could do, desires of our hearts we never thought we could have, now become possible. When we believe He really is who He says He is, nothing is impossible.

Following God is not a chore or a burden; it is the most life-giving pursuit one can ever give himself to. I am overwhelmed when I remember (when He reminds me) of the privilege of this call on our lives- how it demands all of us but it is the most fulfilling life we could ever dream of. With great privilege comes great responsibility, but there’s no greater motivation than a loving and giving Father who brings us to our very best. A Father who delights in us and is pleased with us, so that we may find endless pleasure and satisfaction in Him.

Nothing makes my heart happier than Him, and nothing ever will. It’s what I was made for, and I’m not ashamed to delight in Him.