December 2018 – rhythms of grace

Another year has gone by, full of hopes and disappointments, successes and failures.

Sometimes the failures seem to outweigh the successes. It can be easy to become discouraged around this time of year, when the idea “Christmas cheer” feels more ironic than true. It can intensify and magnify our hurts and pains; remind us that we are not where we would like to be.

You’re not alone if you feel alone. If you feel discouraged, downtrodden, or weary. If you wonder when God is going to come through on His promises to you. If you have no idea what this next year is going to bring, and you feel tired of not knowing.

You’re not alone.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

~Matthew 11:28-30

My favorite verse. The one He never stops beckoning me to, inviting me to be still, and to know that He is God. To know it with all my heart, soul, and mind. That He is the one in control, and all I have to do is trust Him. All I have to do is lift my weary countenance to His endlessly loving Presence, and remember who He is and what He has done for me.

Remember that I did not save myself. That I never can save myself.

When we truly enter His rest, there is no more striving. There is no more fear, doubt, or shame. There is nothing but me and Him- and His perfect peace.

When you really see Jesus, I defy you to doubt Him. If you see Him when He says, “Let not your heart be troubled…” (John 14:27), I defy you to worry. It is virtually impossible to doubt when He is there. Every time you are in personal contact with Jesus, His words are real to you. “My peace I give to you…” (John 14:27)- a peace which brings an unconstrained confidence and covers you completely, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. “…your life is hidden with Christ in God,” and the peace of Jesus Christ that cannot be disturbed has been imparted to you.

~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Let’s allow our hearts to fully enter that rest; to be fully embraced by a perfect and loving God who has the very best intentions for us. One who cannot fail us or let us down. One who will always remain the same, unchanging in His unconditional love for us. Why wouldn’t we trust such a One? Why wouldn’t surrender our lives to Him?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

~John 3:16-17

He is worthy. I am not, but I rest in the One who is. And that is my hope in this season- in every season. I only pray I can grow more and more in the knowledge of His love and goodness; that He would so fill me with Himself that I can be free from fear and doubt for the rest of my time in this world, and walk in His perfect peace.

I think Peter Pan understood this when he said:

All you need is a little faith, trust, and pixie dust!

Do not be afraid, Abram.

I am your shield,

your very great reward.

~Genesis 15:1

When discouragement, disappointment, disillusionment, and doubt abound, and the enemy prowls around like a “roaring lion,” waiting to devour me, I keep remembering my very great reward. I keep trying to walk by faith, and not by sight.

Abram could not see how the Lord would fulfill His promises to him, and yet he believed that He would. All the odds seemed against him; his wife was barren, and yet God promised that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars.

A woman I know whose only daughter ran away from home learned how to rejoice in her suffering, because she knows who her reward is.

There is nothing we cannot overcome, nothing we cannot do, if we keep our eyes fixed on our great Reward. I want to have a faith like Abram’s. A faith that can trust and believe, even, and especially, when my eyes can’t see.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

~Romans 8:37

Lately His words have been residing and dwelling within me in a new and profound way- guiding my every thought and action and transforming my heart. He is giving me a deeper understanding of the resurrection and what He has done for us; His work is finished. There is nothing left for me to do but worship Him with my life, and run the race with perseverance. I pray that I don’t become distracted by the cares of life, but trust Him completely as a provider for my every need. That way I can go through anything, because I know that He is my reward at the end of the race.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the JOY set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

~Hebrews 12:1-3

I am one so prone to discouragement, fear, and doubt. I am anxious, worried, and distrustful by nature. I am over-controlling and selfish.

Yet when I read His words, and the story of His faithfulness to His people, I am given courage. I am given hope, and a reason to keep faithfully running this race. I am humbled and reminded that this story has nothing to do with me and my insecurities, and everything to do with Him. That I must claim His promises as my own, no matter how uncomfortable or unworthy I feel doing so, because this is the only way to “work out my salvation.” Until I claim Him as my reward, there will be no victory in my life, and I will continue to live in my own cycle of sin and misery.

We cannot run this race on our own. We must completely depend on Him as our strength, and our refuge. There is no going back to who we once were, because we are new creations in Him, and we now have greater responsibilities as His servants. There is Kingdom work to be done every moment, every day, and we must remain on guard, taking up the armor of our faith and the sword of His word. This world, and our very hearts, are a battlefield- this earth is not the end, it is not our home. If we keep our eyes on the reward, we will neither fear this world nor become too comfortable here, because we know our true home is in eternity with our Maker.