Today two Jehovah’s witnesses came to my door. I was the only one home- I should have been at work but I came down with a sinus infection. They asked me if I believed if suffering would end, and quoted Revelation 21:4.
He will wipe away every tear form their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
Revelation 21:4 ESV
It seemed a continuation of a recurring theme the Lord has been bringing up in my life.
Just two days ago when I went to volunteer at my church, one of the older women I volunteer with was nearly in tears when she came in, grieving the loss of her husband a year ago. She had been a young widow, and then widowed again by her second husband.
Death is all around us. And I find myself afraid- afraid of the suffering of myself and others, and ultimately afraid of the death of those I love as well as my own. I think of the horrid grief a young widow would feel, and realize I am not immune. Death comes to everyone’s door eventually, and it feels as though we are helpless against it.
Oftentimes I feel the fragility of existence in this life, this fallen and corrupt world we live in. It seems inevitable that anything pure and good will not last, that we must hold on tightly to whatever good we do have or we will lose it. The stakes seem higher and higher the more precious our life becomes to us; the thought of giving ourselves up and “losing our lives to gain them” seems impossible. It seems there is too much to lose.
I struggle with verses such as Mark 8:35 and Luke 14:25-35. I am afraid that if I give everything to God, He will not give anything back. I fear that he wants to take from me everything I hold dear, just to sanctify me and teach me holiness. That if I let go of my grip, I will lose it all.
But that is not the way of our Father. That is not His character- He does not delight in our suffering. He delights in our growth. He knows what is best for us, even if it takes years of pain and suffering for us to understand. He knows that we are stubborn and willful, and hold too tightly onto good when he has better. That we settle for what we think is the best, but it is only a shadow of the true reality.
Pain and death is the only way for us, in this broken world, to see that there is a reality beyond it. Until we are shaken out of our illusory lives, we will not pay attention to the eternal- to the time coming when there will be no more mourning or pain or death. It is a call to wake up and realize where the true and lasting treasure lies.
Ultimately, there is nothing I can truly lose if I have Him. I will be reunited with those I love on the other side of eternity, and everything else I was afraid of losing won’t matter in heaven.
rhythms of grace 