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discouragement

alyssapebbles

I think one of the main (and most effective) ways the enemy tries to attack us is through discouragement.

If he can make us lose our hope, he can steal our joy. If he can steal our joy, he can make us question and doubt everything that God is trying to do in our lives. We stop believing that there is a purpose and reason for the trials we are going through, and simply begin to think we are experiencing meaningless suffering.

The seeds of bitterness are planted.

Once our joy is stolen, life becomes drudgery. We become exhausted with our daily lives and can’t seem to find the refreshment our soul is looking for. We feel scattered and burnt out…lost. What is all of this pointing toward?

We begin to become cynical, focusing on all of the negative things, the things that could go wrong. We let worries and fears creep in and have their way in us, wearing out our already tired souls.

We are exhausted…

What if there is another way?

What if there is a way to find joy again, to have hope restored?

What if all of these challenges that feel defeating are actually strengthening you, and you didn’t even realize it?

That you’re actually stronger than you know, because you are held by a greater Strength?

When you feel down and lost and forgotten and ashamed, there is One who knows your name. There is One who ushers you deeper into His presence and gives your soul rest. His love for you is more exquisite than you would dare to imagine, and when you think you can’t go on any longer, He’s the One who will carry you.

You have to stop trying so hard to figure it all out.

My verse always remains the same, the one He’s spoken to me since the beginning:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. 

I’m not forgotten. I’m right in the middle of His will.

My mentor describes the times when we feel like we are in a fog as the times when God is actually the closest and most active. We can’t see anything around us and we are confused; we don’t understand what is happening or why. It seems chaotic and empty at the same time.

But as soon as we step out and look back, we can see what He was doing. It becomes clear as the fog lifts.

What if we learned to have the eyes of faith in the midst of what we can’t see? To trust God instead of our circumstances- to rest in His promises and know that all is well despite our very real and tangible struggles. To live in this world but not of it…so that we remember we are set apart and sacred, that nothing unclean can really touch or claim us at all.

My feelings will always betray me, but Christ remains constant and steady. I never have to be overtaken by the spirit of discouragement, because God is redeeming all things to Himself. While my circumstances change, His Word remains true. I don’t have to give in to despair.

I’m walking a new way.

 

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possibility

alyssapebbles

With the new year just ahead of us, the potential for new beginnings are fresh on all of our minds and hearts. We love the idea of possibility– the notion that anything can happen. It is a liberating feeling, and yet, at the same time, it is just that- a feeling.

As someone who constantly looks to new things, new opportunities, to fulfill me in ways that only God can, the new year brings me a different sort of hope. It brings me a hope for the possibility of healing, the possibility of reconciliation and forgiveness. The possibility of growing closer to God than I ever have before, and trusting Him to direct my life in radical ways.

The new year, for me, is about a new beginning with God. It is about letting go of my old self and embracing the new creation that I am in Him. Sure, He started the process long ago, but I know in this new year He will continue it in a new way. 

He is always showing up in new ways:

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

~Isaiah 43:19

We become stagnant in our faith when we forget that what He offers us is never the same, that it is so much more exciting than we ever dared dream. We become stagnant when we aren’t ready to say yes to Him in bigger ways- not when we become bored with our faith. Stagnation is a failure to risk more for His sake. If we are not swimming upstream with Him, we will only make backwards progress.

When we become comfortable in our lives and don’t see a need to change, there is a problem. Walking with Jesus is a dynamic, ever-changing experience and the further we go with Him, the more we realize how much farther we have to go. We see the possibility of all we can become in Him, and that fills us with joy and determination to press on:

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

~Philippians 3:14-16 The Message

He is our inspiration- our Muse for all of our future endeavors. We know that with Him, anything IS possible, but only with Him. Not on our own terms.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

~Philippians 4:13

This new year does hold more possibility for me than I have ever known. But I know that if I cling to that possibility instead of to Christ, the road will lead nowhere. However, if I allow Him to be a part of my hopes and dreams and invite Him into all that comes next, there is no way I will fail.

Put your hope in Christ, for with Him all things are possible.

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leave what’s heavy behind

alyssapebbles

I think the theme song for my life right now is “Heavy” by Birdtalker. The lyrics resonate heavily (hah) during this continued season of uncertainty and painful moments of regret:

If you’re lost and you’re lonely
Go and figure out why
Take a trip to your darkside
Go on and have a good cry
Cause we’re all lonely
Yeah we’re all lonely together

Leave what’s heavy
What’s heavy behind
Leave what’s heavy
What’s heavy behind

If your face is down
Take a look around
Do your fingers move?
Do your lungs inflate?
Are you tired are you weary
Of the hidden hate you’ve been holding?
Did you lose that love?
Or have you never had it?
Are you feeling sad cause you did a bad thing?

Are you feeling fearful brother?
Are you feeling fearful sister?
Only way to lose that fearful feeling
Replace it with love that’s healing
Are you feeling fearful brother?
Are you feeling fearful sister?

I think the biggest obstacle to forward progress is dwelling on past mistakes- letting them bully you into believing you can never change, or worse, you don’t deserve to change. To change and grow would mean to actually be freedom, and you can’t possibly have that after all you’ve done, right?

The enemy is especially tricky with this sort of thing- rumination, stagnation, and paralyzation. If he can stunt our growth and keep us stuck in our past sins and mistakes, he knows we won’t be able to grasp onto our bright future with God and all that He calls us to be. We will continue to relive the past over and over again. We don’t even realize we have a choice.

A choice to let go.

A choice to be forgiven.

A choice to be washed clean.

Why else did Jesus come?!

God reaches into the depths of our despair and regret and He doesn’t shame us. He doesn’t wag a finger and say “I’m so disappointed in you. Why didn’t you do better this time?” He knows us better than we know ourselves; He knew what decisions we were going to make before we ever made them, and He is not surprised. He is not staring incredulously at us, wondering how could we ever keep messing up so badly when we claim to be followers of Him.

Not at all.

He only ever looks at us through eyes of love. He is gentle and patient with us, forgiving us as many times as we need to be forgiven. When Peter asked Jesus how many times he needs to forgive someone who hurt him, Jesus replied:

I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

~Matthew 18:22

He never gives up on us- even when we give up on ourselves. Our pain is His pain. He hates to see us suffer the consequences of our sin over and over again. He wants to offer us freedom and new life from that. When we are so afraid to come to Him because of our shame, He can never do the work He wants to do in us- He can never heal us from it. We are terrified of punishment, and yet by holding ourselves back from Him that is exactly what we will continue to face. When we actually lay it all down before Him, He does this amazing thing:

He forgives us.

And He begins to heal the wounds.

But we have to let Him see them. He won’t condemn us- whatever we don’t bring into the light will.

Why do we run anywhere else to find healing? Why do we expect any other thing to satisfy and fulfill us? God is the only one who can carry the burden of our shame and regret, so we have to leave what’s heavy with Him, or we will be crushed under the weight of it.

Then He can begin to do a new thing in us.

Forget about the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

~Isaiah 43:18-19

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challenge

alyssapebbles

As I begin this new season of my life and settle into the new rhythm of the culture and people around me, I find myself spinning a little bit.

This year is going to challenge me- that’s one thing I know for sure, amidst all the other unknowns. The uncertainty and fear that comes along with major life transitions can be overwhelming and all-consuming if you let it. I’ve experienced this enough times in my life now that I have better footing this time (or have more tools in my toolbox as my wise mama would say), but it doesn’t make it any easier. You don’t realize how much you’re going to miss something until it’s gone. I feel my eyes brimming each time I am reminded of the life I just left; yet looking forward in anticipation of what’s to come.

I also find myself at moments discouraged: familiarity is so comforting. New is hard. Especially when it is all new: new place, new people, new culture, new community. So much excitement all at once can blow a girl right over–even if all of it is good.

I know that this is the time when what I’m truly holding onto becomes evident—when all I have left to cling to is Jesus Himself, the one who knows me inside and out in a place where I don’t yet feel known by people. Friends come and go, but He remains with me. Changing circumstances can shake our world, but they also cause us to run to our Rock and Redeemer, who will always walk with us through our challenges and hardships.

God brought me to this place for a reason, and I trust Him with what is to come—even when it doesn’t seem to make sense. I know everything is going to fall into place, and I am grateful for this time of transformation. I have to let go of the old to make room for the new things that God wants to do in my life this year. Even in the midst of the uncertainty, I know there is joy ahead.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. ~ Hebrews 12:1-3 (emphasis added)