limitlessness

As I read Jenni Allen’s Restless and listen to the whispers of the Holy Spirit, I know that I am indeed made for more.

Made for more than a 9-5 desk job. Made for more than living in fear.

It almost hurts to consider the possibilities, because I’ve held myself back for so long. I’ve told myself I don’t have what it takes; I can’t do what other people can. I don’t have the stamina or endurance. I am weak.

So it’s easier to confine myself to a life within my “limits,” to keep myself from feeling out of control and overwhelmed.

Except I am….

Burnt out. Exhausted. Bitter and resentful.

I know God is using this season to challenge me and show me that I actually do have what it takes by His hand. I have already seen myself capable of much more than I thought I could be, and I am learning to trust that He goes before me wherever I go, and I don’t have to worry about what I can or can’t do. He is gloriously weaving the threads and not letting anything go to waste, and he calls me to a journey greater than what I can accomplish on my own. He is teaching me dependence. Of course what I’m made for is bigger than myself, bigger than my limits. Because it’s not about me and what I can do- it’s always been about Him.

And with that I am free to pursue my dreams, no matter the cost. If my goal is to glorify Him in all I do, it doesn’t matter what the enemy tries to tell me anymore. It doesn’t matter if I feel tired, not good enough, scared or apathetic- God knows my humanness and doesn’t fault me for it; He helps me. He is my help when I can’t go on any longer on my own. That’s the point.

A life of dependence is not natural. We are an incredibly independent and stubborn race, in an incredibly independent and stubborn society (at least in America). We champion those who “forge their own path” and “climb the ladder.” Those who appear to be able to do it all on their own, by picking themselves up by their own bootstraps. Surely aspects of this are commendable, such as working hard and providing for yourself and your family, but this kind of living is in complete denial of a God on whom we depend to meet all our needs. It denies that we are vulnerable human beings who do in fact need to be rescued from ourselves. It is empty and shallow living.

I want the rich, full, abundant life:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 10:10

I want the life that is connected to the vine, because that is truly a powerful life. On my own I’m a mess; with God I can become a masterpiece. Perhaps if I actually trusted that He could use me in amazing ways even in my utter brokenness, I would stop thinking so much about myself. Perhaps if I re-centered on His greatness and limitlessness, I would stop worrying about the future and making ends meet. I would actually be able to stop worrying about everything. I could live a fearless and free life.

We think dependence is weakness, but it is actually true strength. With Him, there is nothing we can’t do.

But Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26

So feel free to step out and take a risk- because you are free. Even if nothing goes as you hope, there is truly nothing to lose if we have Him. Set aside what is holding you back from being who you were created to be, and allow yourself to trust completely in the God who created and loves you with an everlasting love. There is no surer foundation to build our lives on- everything else we build for ourselves will fade and crumble, but what we build with and for Him will be eternal.