family

We don’t get to choose our family, and sometimes they can mess us up real good. Or they can bring out the very best in us and make us who we are today. I think my family has done both, and I think yours has too.

Spending time with family is a great way to practice those fruits of the spirit: patience, gentleness, grace…etc. Sometimes our families drive us absolutely up the wall and we are tempted to overreact. It’s easy to fall into old patterns with family, but completely life-changing and transforming to develop new ones. To redeem those interaction habits that once seemed irredeemable and see your family from a new perspective with the lens of experience and understanding.

Going away to college is a good thing. I had no idea what kind of bad habits I had developed until my rug of safety, comfort, and security was yanked out from under my feet. I didn’t even know how to do my own laundry- no joke. My habits were entitlement, laziness, and a distinct notion that I was the center of the family and everyone catered to me. That can happen when you’re an only child for seven years. But I learned that not everyone is going to adore me the way my mom does, not everyone will be as easy to manipulate as my brother, or care about my success and achievements as much as my dad does. It was a hard lesson, for sure, but I am so much more independent and better for it.

Reentering old situations with a new lens is a beautiful metaphor for the transformation that takes place within us as Christ followers. We can’t expect our families to change, but when there has been a change within ourselves, our families will notice and it will make a difference. My mom always tells me how watching me go on my faith journey has inspired and ignited hers, and for that I give all the credit to Christ.

It’s never too late too mend old wounds, and it’s never too late to become new. Don’t let the past define your future, and don’t let it keep you away from those you love. God gave us our families for a reason, and no matter how messed up yours is, He had a purpose in the way you were raised. The battles we overcome make us stronger, especially those battles we have to face from our past.