lies and truth

Even to this day, when I believe I am whole and saved and new and free, the lies can be relentless. One of the enemy’s favorite tactics is to subtly get into our heads and make us believe things that are utterly not true. And then I’m whacking myself over the head that I still let his lies become my truths, which give him the chance to whisper even more disparaging things about me and those I love…it’s a never ending cycle and I buy right into it almost every time.

Our minds lie to us.

I have been struggling with lies for as long as I can remember- mostly lies about my fundamental worth as a human being. I have seasons where I am able to experience victory over them, but other seasons where I am not. And this can be discouraging, because even when I recognize them as lies, they still are able to take hold of me sometimes…okay, like, a lot. What happens when you know truth but it’s not setting you free? Where is the transformation I have been searching for? Where is the love I don’t feel like I’m receiving?

It’s all there, but I’m unwilling. As long as I’m unwilling to listen to truth, the enemy is in charge. The lies will call the shots and I will be left in the dust, wondering, once again, what is wrong with me. Why does this keep happening? Why am I so unloveable? But the thing about lies is just that- they are lies. They can only have so much power over me, because in the end, truth prevails. It wouldn’t be truth if it didn’t have the victory. So when I am choosing to believe the lies about myself and my identity, I am living in a fantasy world. No wonder it never ends well. Truth is the reality, and when we are grounded in reality, in God’s reality, we can’t go wrong. Healing and transformation will happen, whether we like it or not. But we have to let go of the safety and comfort that the lies have been offering us our whole life.

It’s easier to believe that I am unlovable than take the chance of being rejected. It’s easier to believe that I am not enough and give up than actually try and fail. It’s easier to believe I will never change than allow the Holy Spirit to do His work in me, which requires that I lay down everything at His feet. It’s easier to listen to the lies. They keep me safe. But they also keep me chained. And God wants us free.