Judgment is perhaps one of the easiest traps to fall into as believers, or maybe another word could be self-righteousness, the sin of pride and arrogance- the sin of believing you are better than others. But judgment is not only directed toward others; by it’s very nature it is directed at the self. The more you judge yourself, the more you will judge others, and the less you allow God to do His job.
I am so humbled, once again, by what God has been trying to show me- the sinful and selfish nature of my own heart. I so quickly and easily pass judgment on others, holding them to a standard that I deem worthy and pointing out each time they fall short. Where does this unforgiving and merciless criticism come from? It can only be because I hold myself to the same standard (the standard of perfection) and of course fail to meet it myself. I am trying to be the master of my own fate, and when I cannot be, I take the seat of Judge and try to master others, or at least puff myself up to be better in order that I can look down on them and at least feel like I’m not that bad. At least I pray and do a devotional every day and read my Bible…at least I’m more devout than them…
And all the while a cruel, insidious hostility is building up inside me along with the wall that separates me from those God is calling me to love.
When I hold myself to a standard of perfection instead of allowing God’s grace to penetrate my life, you can be sure I will hold others to that as well. And guess what- we ALL fall short. All of us.
So who am I to judge? I am just as likely to stumble as the next person- trust me, I know my own weaknesses and my inability to ever become the person I am trying so desperately by my own strength to be. And that is why He is asking me to give up the Judge seat. It is not my place, and frankly, it is too much work anyway. I’m exhausted.
All I can do is love those as flawed and imperfect as I am, knowing that I need grace as much as the next person. Nobody is perfect, and God does not hold us to a standard of perfection anyhow. He gives us grace when we don’t deserve it, so the least we can do is offer it to those as little deserving as ourselves.
Getting off your high horse isn’t easy, but it’s so necessary. I feel the burden lifted from my soul as I allow God’s radiant love to envelop and destroy my pride. I’m not in charge. He is.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” ~Matthew 7:1-5
rhythms of grace 