vulnerability

Vulnerability is scary. It requires us to open up to others even when we do not know the outcome- we do not know how we will be received and perceived. It is a loss of control, a letting go of the image that we wish to uphold. It is is allowing others to see our humanity, and I think it is about the bravest thing one can do.

We live in a culture in which it is very taboo to be vulnerable; we are told to suck it up and make it look like we are thriving whether we are or not. Status and appearance are everything- the less you reveal, the stronger you are. We are told to shove down our feelings and pretend that we are okay when we are not. Showing feelings is showing weakness. But here’s a secret: the more you try to hide and shove down your feelings, the stronger they will become until they nearly swallow you whole. They will consume every part of you until you can no longer function and feel like you are going to burst unless you let them out.

Now I’m not saying you should go around as a completely open book, unleashing your problems and worries on every person you meet throughout the day. That is not vulnerability- that is seeking attention. Oversharing is a real thing, and if we don’t guard our hearts by revealing too much too soon, we will get hurt, no doubt about it. I know this well from experience. There are appropriate times and appropriate people to share with what is on our hearts, and it takes good judgment to know when those times are. However, this doesn’t take away the uncertainty of the response. But at that point it doesn’t matter anymore- it is not about the response. It is about the freedom that comes from letting go of the pain inside of you, of letting another person see you as you are; take it or leave it. It is about connection and reaching out, communicating that you need help and are not perfect. It is about repentance and coming before God and others in admittance of the imperfect human you are and your desperate need of the unfailing grace of our Father. That is where the freedom comes from: not that we will always be received well by people, but we will always be received well by God. In fact it is in our most vulnerable moments that He embraces us and we are able to connect with Him more fully. We come to know that we are unconditionally loved and accepted as we are, and there is no reason to pretend anymore. We no longer have to keep doing the exhausting work of maintaining our image and micromanaging others’ perceptions of us. We are free to be who we really are, warts and all.

We need to stop looking at vulnerability as weakness, because it is not. Vulnerability is strength, a quiet, beautiful kind of strength that you must re-train your eyes to see. Stop carrying your burdens alone- that is not how it was meant to be. Be vulnerable with God first- trust Him with your burdens and then, with your trust and foundation in Him, you won’t be afraid to be vulnerable with others anymore because their opinions don’t matter; the only opinion that matters is God’s and He is always delighted when His children come to Him in need and weakness. He is our one source of strength, and he provides people in our life who He equips to support us. Stop trying to do it on your own; lean on God’s grace.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ~2 Corinthians 12:9