As someone who is rather emotionally inclined, Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real thing for me. Why I chose to live in the rainiest state in the country is beyond me, but maybe it’s because God wanted to teach me how to be led by His stable and enduring grace instead of my flimsy and constantly changing emotions. Feelings are so deceptive and misleading. If you’re like me, you can allow them to dictate the truth of who you are and of your life if you’re not careful; when I’m sad, I’m worthless and my life is a mess; when I’m happy, I’m loved and valuable and my life is great. What an unreliable foundation!
And yet sometimes the sadness is a downward spiral that I can’t will or pray myself out of no matter how hard I try. And it becomes bigger than me- not only am I hopeless, but so is the world and everyone around me. Instead of looking inside myself to see what’s really going on (which is usually something rather trivial to be honest) I project it out to the world around me. And believe me, it’s not difficult to find the negative in the world if you’re really looking. All you have to do is turn on the news or walk down the homeless-infested streets of Seattle. It is so easy to lose hope. And that is why we need a Savior who gives us everlasting hope, hope that doesn’t depend on our current mood or even our current world. It’s an enduring and perfect hope that can never be diminished by anything we encounter in this world, because it is not of this world. Our hope is in the Lord, our Creator and Sustainer. He is the beginning and the end we have to look forward to as followers of Christ. And therefore, if we look to His perfect and glorious plan which is not dependent on anything we do or don’t do, feel or don’t feel, say or don’t say, we will not be shaken. Praise the Lord!
I know it can be hard to get out of bed sometimes-to face yet another dreary, rainy day- but you must keep showing up. You must keep trusting that even though things feel out of control and hard right now, they will not feel this way forever. This too shall pass. Hold on to something more stable, something that will truly sustain you. Hold on to Christ. He is holding onto you.
rhythms of grace 