Today’s world makes it easier than ever to watch everyone else’s lives and forget to live our own. I’ve caught myself in the bad habit and exhausting cycle of doing this as I’ve introduced social media back into my life after lent. I feel the tension of wanting to be involved with other people online and getting a little…too involved. I’m realizing I’m becoming passive and complacent. It’s so much easier to watch than engage. I’m struggling to find the balance, and I’m disappointed in myself for yet again becoming a slave to the scroll.
How do we engage with social media in a healthy way? In a way that doesn’t hinder but rather enhances our souls and our lives? These are the questions I’m asking myself lately, as I open my Instagram feed for the thirty-second time within the same hour, craving that little red notification bubble to pop up and convince me that someone cares about me. It’s about watching others, but it’s also about wanting others to watch me, and that’s when I know I’m in trouble. That’s when I know I’m living on the surface–living in the shallows.
It’s about watching others, but it’s also about wanting others to watch me, and that’s when I know I’m in trouble.
Giving it up entirely was easy. Learning how to use it in a balanced way is a lot trickier, and I fail most days. I suppose that’s how it is with most things in this conflicting world–it takes a lot more discipline to be in the world but not of it than it does to shut out the world, which can be the temptation. I used to be an advocate of that sort of asceticism, and certainly there are times when we need to completely fast of those things that are harming our souls, but I’ve learned over time that it’s not ultimately sustainable and it’s not ultimately what we’re called to.
Be in the world but not of it.
What if we started using social media as a way to spread light and love to others, instead of pointing to ourselves? What if we transformed it into an environment of giving to one another rather than taking from each other?
As I hold the tension of gaining “visibility” on social media as an aspiring author at the same time as recognizing it’s not really about me, I am seeking what it means to steward this gift of online connection well. Because it really is that–a gift. Social media allows us new windows into others’ lives and the most connection we’ve ever had as a society. But as with every gift there is a downside if we don’t use it properly to build up God’s kingdom. When we make it about us or let it hold too much of our attention, we are giving the enemy a foothold into all sorts of madness. You’ve seen how this plays out in your own life and the havoc it wrecks on your real life relationships and self-confidence.
I’m going to keep staying involved, but I’m setting boundaries, and you should too–for the protection of your own soul. We are not creatures made to be constantly interrupted by noise and notifications. We are made for deep, soulful living off the screen. So start there, and then come to the screen from a place of wholeness. From a place where you can give to others out of the abundance of your soul rather than seek approval out of your emptiness. And you may find that others in that space desperately need what you have to offer.
rhythms of grace 