people

We love them. We hate them. We need them.

So desperately.

We cannot do faith alone, because God is love, and therefore to truly experience Him in all His fullness we have to experience love. And you can only experience love from other people. And it is broken, and messy, and altogether disappointing much of the time. So much so we start to wonder- does perfect love really exist?

Am I truly, wholly, perfectly, unconditionally loved? Because I have never experienced that kind of love here on earth, the kind of love that will die for you even when you are at your worst.

So what’s the point then? If every relationship we have is broken and human and will never be perfect, what’s the point of being in relationship at all? If people will always disappoint, hurt, and abandon me, and I will always disappoint, hurt, and abandon others, wouldn’t it just be better if we all stayed away from each other and just experienced the intimate love of our Father in isolation? Sometimes that sounds so much more tempting to me than to say, try. Try to love better, be a better sister, be a better roommate, be a better friend. Try to have more patience and more kindness and be more like Jesus in every situation I find myself in. Not trying is way easier. And it’s just about the best way to turn your heart into a cold, dark stone.

Our hearts become hardened and bitter when we turn away from relationships, when we aren’t receiving or giving love.

It starts with receiving. Until we truly receive the (yes!) unconditional love of the Father and allow His Holy Spirit to move in us, we will not be able to love and experience love the way He always intended for us to. Because guess what? We can’t do it on our own. No matter how hard we try, we simply will not be able to muster up the love for other people (or for ourselves) that we want to have. I know this is true in my life as the root of bitterness grows because I refuse to accept Christ’s love for me. And it’s hindering my relationships- it’s hurting those I love and it’s hurting me.

After receiving comes repentance. Once I have received the love of Christ and truly allowed it to define me, to allow my identity to be solidly grounded in Him, I can face myself. I can face my flaws and my failures, the ways I am hurting others and myself. And I will be empowered to turn away from those ways, not out of condemnation or shame but out of conviction- the conviction that I don’t want that brokenness in my life anymore and I choose a new way to live, a new way to relate to others.

I run away from relationships. I really do. I’m so scared of the intimacy, vulnerability, and joy that a fulfilling relationship can hold, because it seems too good to be true, and it seems out of control. But I also know that that is the thing my heart so desperately craves the most- that is the thing we were made for- true, deep, intimate relationship with Christ. Honestly, when you look inside your heart, what do you long for? It all boils down to being known, and being loved.

And we are. More than we can ever understand.

So don’t turn away from relationships in your life when things get hard. We need people as much as we need to breathe- to lift us up and support us and encourage us to continue running the race to the finish. Yes, they are human and flawed, but so are we, and we are kidding ourselves if we think we don’t need each other. Nothing will kill us faster or cause more suffering than a lack of love…and nothing but love will bring us more life.

“God didn’t set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we’re awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we’re alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it.” ~1 Thessalonians 5 The Message