I love to escape- run away when things get difficult. I’ve never been good at confrontation; I’m “flight” all the way. Because running away is so much easier, right? You never have to face the problem, it’s all in the past and you can put it behind you.
But we know this never works- I know it never works.
Lately my escape tactic has been to look into the dreamy future, pondering over all of the possibilities and amazing experiences God has in store for me after I graduate and get out of the city and all of the (meaningless) hustle and bustle that seems to accompany my every day life. I. feel. claustrophobic. Small spaces and no privacy and unnecessary stress and TOO MUCH TRAFFIC.
Too many people. Too little time. Too little God.
Where is God in the city? Where is He in my hundred-person, secular classroom? Where is He among indifferent roommates and endless cloudy days? So if I can’t find Him here, I will run away from my present. There is no treasure here. I want freedom. I want wide open spaces.
But me he caught- reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved- surprised to be loved! ~Psalm 18:16-19 MSG
So I envision a future where I am free from all the worries of the world, immune to the chaos and hate that is present everywhere I look. I hate messiness- I like black and white. It is all too exhausting, and I want to give up on everyone, because everyone always disappoints and falls short of the glory of God. If I can just get away, I will be happy and free, finally free. All or nothing.
But God sees in color.
Where I see nothing of worth, His treasures are laid out, hidden among the rubble. Where I see dead ends, He is making a new path. Where I see lost relationships, He sees healing. Where I see confined spaces with too many people, He sees opportunities to love.
God wants me to be here, now. We must steward what He has given us now, or He will not be able to bless us. When I try to escape my situation, I am removing myself from His provision and His blessings. The abundant life is already here, it is already yours! Freedom is already available, because we are free in Christ when we turn all of our attention to Him and His redeeming powers. He works all things together for our good. This is only a passing season in my life and my ungratefulness will only make it more agonizing.
No matter how trapped you feel right now, freedom is yours. Bring everything to God- your worries, hopes, fears, and deep, deep desires, and He will fulfill and satisfy your every need. Maybe it won’t be in the way you want it, at the time you want it, but that is how He grows your character. Lean into your present and you will be delivered. The Lord promises good things to those who patiently endure.
I’ve learned by now how to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. ~Philippians 4:12
rhythms of grace 