We don’t like to be uncomfortable. We don’t like to be confronted with our own shortcomings, the things we’ve tried to ignore for so long until they are no longer ignorable. But discomfort is the way God enables us to grow. Lean into discomfort.
I was forced to face my own privilege on a mission trip serving the homeless this past weekend. We took an old homeless man to Chipotle, and sat with him as he told us the story of his life and the pain he has gone through in broken English. His name is Eddie and he grew up in Bosnia. He was a sniper in the war and spoke of a constant companion of PTSD that had followed him since. His family and his heart was broken, and as I looked into his tear-stained eyes I couldn’t hold it together. I was forced to face the pain in this world, the pain that those less fortunate than I have had to go through. Why does God allow this pain? I couldn’t bear it.
Staring into Eddie’s eyes changed me. It made me uncomfortable. It made me have to acknowledge the fact that I have so much privilege I don’t know what to with it; that I have a warm home and supportive friends and family and a good school and food whenever I want it. I’ve become so comfortable with my privilege that I complain when I have to be outside in the cold for more than five minutes or unglue my eyes from Netflix to help a friend out. I’ve become so comfortable with my privilege that I have to look away when I see that others are not as privileged as I am. I don’t deserve it, but surely God doesn’t want me to be ashamed. So what am I supposed to do?
The weekend was hard for me, to be sure, but it sparked something in me. It reminded me that my heart has been distracted, that I have been caught up in trivialities and lost my close relationship that God that I once longed for; that I keep choosing comfort over calling. God calls us to be uncomfortable- to step out of our comfort zones and into the unknown, into the uncertain. Because it is in that place where we learn to trust; when we can’t rely on ourselves and our own capabilities, when we are forced to look at our own selfish hearts and see how far we have to go, we must turn to God or else will be swallowed up in self-loathing. And God isn’t disgusted with us, with our privilege and laziness and complacency, although He should be. Rather, he is merciful and offers us grace and forgiveness. The conviction is never meant to shame, but rather to grow. However, if we continue to ignore His calling and live on as we were before, the shame will be inevitable.
God does not want me to be ashamed of my privilege, but rather grateful. Everything good in our lives is a gift from God, and if we acknowledge that instead of taking for granted all that we are blessed with, God will continue to provide. He doesn’t want me to fix homelessness or do anything drastic, but rather choose His way in each small moment; smile at a homeless person as I walk by, or donate 10% of my earnings to a charity. We have been given so much, and if we use those gifts for good God will be pleased.
rhythms of grace 